I knew it...

Today I was officially diagnosed with depression. :( I knew that this was a possibility, but I never thought **I** would have it. I did a checklist and I have over 75% of the symptoms. I am completely devastated and I will be starting a long term anxiety/depression medication probably tomorrow, but I am to continue to Xanax as needed because I was told that it will take about 4-6 weeks to see if the medication for depression will help me. I am so bummed and mentally exhausted. I told her that I feel bad and lazy when I sleep late and that I feel like I should be doing other things, such a studying. She told me that for now all I need to be doing on the weekends is relaxing and taking care of ME! This is good to hear, but also hard. :( I feel like that since I am young I should be carefree and not worry about anything like all of my friends, but I worry about EVERYTHING!!! I am so tired of it and I just want to be ME again. For now, I am going to go for counseling weekly because I really need it right now. School worries the shit out of me and I am always so irritable. 95% of the time I would just like to run around slapping people because I am so frustrated. I feel like that I have had anxiety problems for some time (at least 1 year), but just recently it has developed into depression. :( I want so badly to be normal and not to worry, but this is just my way and I can’t help it. I guess until we get my depression worked out I will just have to keep myself practically sedated. HA

After counseling today (out of town), my mom took me a mall. I got TONS of clothes and jewelry for my birthday which made me really happy. I got some of the cutest things! Bad thing is I can’t have it until my birthday in November!! I also got some adorable winter shoes and a couple of belts. This town has no Michaels or anything, but I sure do wish they did! Thank you all for your prayers!