My suck ass life

First off- Phillip and I broke up about 2.5 weeks ago.
That's all I want to say about that.
Last week was spring break. Me and 3 other girls went to the beach. I got my belly button pierced (see below). We had a lot of fun, but then reality hits you in the face again. My depression is worse. I am sick of crying. I am sick of hurting. I am tired of life. No one understands. I have absolutely no one to talk to.
I've been drinking a lot and I know it doesn't help with my depression, but it helps me to escape. I need help, I know. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow. I hope she has some advice. I feel so lost. I have so much school work to do and I cannot concentrate. I need help. I really do. I guess we will have to see what happens tomorrow.

Please keep me in your prayers. That's all that's holding me up now.
-Haley

Spring Break

Feeling better...

I am starting to feel better since getting some of these things out of my hair. My Sr. page for the yearbook is done, our prom limo is booked, my hair appointment has been made, flowers have been ordered, and I am still working on my makeup appointment. I also need to drag Phillip to go rent his tux. I couldn't a black Chrysler 300, so I chose this instead.

We will have the limo from 5:30- 1:30 AM. That's a long time, but we are going to have a damn blast. We think we may hire my cousin to take pictures for us, we aren't sure yet.

School is so stressful so I would just rather not think about it. As for my online class, I am 3 experiments behind because I do not have the supplies to do them with. I took an energy shot today, no not a needle shot...lol and I think it has worked somewhat.

I do need to email one of my customers about her order and finish another order and get it in the mail tomorrow.

This dang limo better be worth it because Phillip and I have fought and fought over this. It's given me a headache. Or maybe Phillip has. lol Either way it's ours.

Waiting on the makeup lady to call me back. -Haley

It's been a while...

Since my last post I've been feeling a little bit better. My doctor changed my meds once again because nothing seems to be working. I am such a crab ass, but I caught myself last night actually relaxing just a bit.

Last night we had a dance, MORP, Phillip and I had a good time. We had our pictures made, after mama took some, and then we headed out of town to eat. We had planned all along to go to Red Lobster, but the bitch that I used to be friends with was there. When we stepped out of Phillip's truck she ran and tried to hide- how fucking lame. Phillip asked how long the wait was and it was like 30 mins. which would be fine, but I didn't want to be were I wasn't wanted so we left. I don't know what I've done for her to act like that. Actually, I know I've done NOTHING. It's all going to be okay because I will be out of that hell hole of a school in a matter of months. I cannot wait.
So we decided to go to Longhorn and we had a good time and some yummy food. We were going to go see some movie that he wanted to see, but the wait was an hour and we later found out that the show was sold out anyway. We headed back home, picked up drinks from Sonic, and rented Flicka. It was an awesome movie. It was so sad. I caught myself getting teary eyed. LOL
On a sad note- My baby is sick. Tiny has some sort of infection and has had an upset tummy for 3 days. We finally got in touch with a vet yesterday, because her regular vet is out of town. She has to take a pill the size of a dime 4x daily- she hates this pill and its a chore to give it to her. She also has 2 liquid medicines. One is 4x daily and the other is just 1x daily. These a a little bit easy to give to her. She is on a liquid diet and cannot eat until tomorrow (Monday). Poor baby.

I have got my prom dress now too. Prom is May 4.
I LOVE IT!

Phillip and I have decided to go alone this year and get our own limo. I don't want my Sr. Prom ruined by superficial bitches.
We think we want one of these-
Sadly, no scrapbooking for myself since last post. Just customers. I am also going to stop doing that. It's too much pressure and I don't really have time because of school work.

-Haley

The worst day...

I feel like shit. I think everyone around me forgot Valentine's day. I called Phillip and he was asleep and didn't say anything.. I was already feeling shitty so I didn't say anything either. I am depressed. What's new, right? I am so depressed. I want to cry. I seriously don't know how much longer I can live with this depression and anxiety. I have let it take over my life. I want to live, but I don't want to live like this. I can't live like this anymore and lucky me- my doctor is out of the office for the whole month of February. I keep getting worse and worse. They don't know what to do with my medication and they are trying to get me off the one medication that I do need. I am so tired of fighting. I'm exhausted. I want to give up, but I know I can't. Eating seems to be a chore. Showering seems to be a chore. Everything I used to enjoy has become a chore.
Why should I work my ass of for Phillip's gifts when I feel like he doesn't even give a damn?

Just to update you all...

I know it's been a long time since I updated. The depression is still kicking my ass. I am going through medication changes now. I am praying this will work out.

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I know I've been slacking. I haven't even updated with my birthday pictures. My birthday was 2 months ago. So here are a few...

Here was my cake. My mama designed it. LOL Turns out that I'm still their spoiled little brat after all. LOL
This is a diamond crown necklace that my parents bought for me. :) LOVE IT.
So that was my birthday. I got clothes, shoes, and some other things, but the crown necklace was by far my favorite!
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As for Christmas, we all had a wonderful Christmas!

Here is me holding up some underwear for everyone to see. LOL Notice that they say "Spoiled Brat" on the ass. HAHA When I did that my daddy said "Ain't that the truth!" LOL Poor daddy.
I got a lot of clothes, Ipod docking station (like the IHome or w/e), and a lot of scrapping supplies.
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That's all for now. I really don't have anything else to say. As far as my depression, it's in God's hands now. I've done all that I can do and I'm still trying.

-Haley