Chill kids, chill!

Ring the doorbell or knock,

but choose just one!

We are on our way to to the door.

Chill out. The candy will not run away.

:) - Haley

Why do I constantly push myself?

I have been doing homework since noon. Why? Because I told myself that I would. I have this book to read by Friday. It's 59 chapters and we have to take notes on every chapter. I always set a goal when I read because I feel like it's easier to get it done. So I set my goal for page xx, but when I meet that goal I don't feel like it's enough so I set a new one for page xxx. WHY!?! You would think that I would be satisfied with meeting the first goal, but hell no. I push myself. I hate that about me. The book is so unbelievably boring and I don't push myself because I enjoy reading or because I find the book interesting. I don't know why I do it. If I didn't meet the second goal I would feel like such a failure! I wish that I could be satisfied, but I am not and I probably will never be because I have been doing these same things since I could walk. Maybe things like this have put me where I am in life, which is a good place to be, but it still bothers me. I have high goals for myself and I know that I am capable of everything that I set my mind to and that every single goal of mine will be met, but I am killing myself while doing this. It just eats at me and eats at me. Me and my "goals" is why I am so stressed and exhausted. My next, much-needed counselling session is Tuesday. We are slowly finding out that I tend to have more panic attacks and stress towards the end of the week.

Random Survey..Post on your blog with your answers!

[HAVE YOU EVER..]
been kissed- Yes
lied to a friend- Yes
dyed your hair- Yes
dressed punk- No
kissed a girl- No
saw something u didn’t want to- Oh yeah!
danced in the rain- No
lied to your parents- Yes
went barefoot in the snow- No
played hockey- No
made your own clothes- No
[IN THE LAST 24 HOURS..]
got in a fight- No
took a shower
gave a dirty look to someone- Yeah
cried- No
did a cartwheel- No
went to school- Yes
shopped- No, but made a wishlist for Christmas
danced- No
got sick- No
did something u regret- No
discovered something new- No
[IN SCHOOL YOU...]
run to class because you’re always late- No
act perfect- No
act hyper- No
are a nerd- No
in band- No
[RIGHT NOW UR..]
in your PJs- Yep
drinking- No
listening to music- No, I was a little bit ago
watching a movie- No
IM’ing someone- Yep
talking on the phone- No
eating- No
[CLOTHES..]
hot topic or Abercrombie and Fitch- A&F
thongs or briefs- briefs
Boxers anyone-No thanks
sweatpants or jeans- Depends on what I am doing...
long-sleeved shirts or short sleeve- Long
tube tops or tanks- Tube tops
[CURRENTLY .. ]
current clothes- PJs
current mood- tired
current music- none
current taste- dry mouth! YUCK
current make-up- None
current thing I ought to be doing- sleeping
[ LAST PERSON .. ]
you hugged- My mama
yelled at- Um...not sure
IM’ed- Talking to Anna now
you touched- Tiny
[ EiTHER/0R .. ]
coffee or hot chocolate- Hot Chocolate
big or little- Little
lace or satin- Satin
new or old- New
vogue or cosmopolitan- Cosmo
skirt or dress- Skirt
wool or cotton- Cotton! LOVE IT!
[DO YOU..]
put on a "front"- Hell no!
have a crush on someone- No
if u got a tattoo where would u get it- :)
[RANDOM Questions..]
what is the online symbol u use the most-***
u have a boyfriend or girlfriend- Yep
who's hotter, Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray- Josh H.
what was the last thing you said- Goodnight
who would u want to be stuck in an elevator with- My boyfriend
do you like stickers- In scrapbooking
do u play with mad libs when you’re bored- uh..no
are you suicidal- No
is your window open- Never
what was the last pair of shoes you bought- dark brown wool-like clogs
do you have a little brother- No
does he draw you cute pictures-n/a
where do your grandparents live- I only have one grandmother left and she live about an hour away from me.
what do you think of when you hear the word click- computer mouse
are you a moron- To some
do you like trampolines- No
have u ever accidentally sucked something up in the vacuum- All the time
did you see American Pie 2- No
do you cut yourself- No

I've been tagged!

I have been tagged by Melissa!

This is the what the tag is for:the Blog Archives and Hidden Meanings meme. The criteria:Delve into your blog archive.Find your 23rd post (or closest to).Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.Tag five people to do the same.

The 5th line of my 23rd post was...."hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason"

No hidden agenda. That post was actually the lyrics to a song. I love the words though because it is so true!

The 5 lucky bloggers that I am going tag are... Anna, Aimee, Carrie, Shannon, and Jae!

Lookie what Phillip bought me for my bday!

I had never even heard of these bags until Carrie told me about them! :) I can't wait to get it! It is HUGE! 16" X 18" X 4" Hmmm...things like this remind me why I love him so much! :) He will do anything in the world to make me smile! MUAH!

I've had it! I am about to have a nervous break down!!

I am sick of everyone! I am sick of my boyfriend, my parents, my friends, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like curling up in bed and crying for a couple of hours..or sleeping for a few weeks. :(

I love this song!

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake, can you help me unravel my latest mistake, I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to critisize, hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason 'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button girl, So cradle your head in you hands And breathe, just breathe, Woah breathe, just breathe May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist, Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year. Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it. Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breathe, just breathe, Woah breathe, just breahte There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around. 2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, its no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe woah breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe.

That's why I have it

playing on my blog! :)

So I went to counseling Monday..

and I took a took a little depression test and checked of 3x LESS than I originally had!! :) We are having to play around with the time that I take the Paxil too because I am WAY, WAY too sleepy. Almost everyday I come home and sleep for about 3-4 hours and on the way to counseling (30 mins) I slept and on the way back!! Totally not normal! So I am going to take it in the morning now, instead of at night.

Not much else going on. I am improving daily, which is GREAT! I have only been on the paxil for about 4 weeks and we have been told that it will take around 4-6 weeks to get the full effect.

I bought this for Tiny the other night! I got it off of Ebay.

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I also ordered 2 more things from silverjewelryclub.com:

The ring is for me! :) I am REALLY impressed with the quality!! I got the pink necklace that I ordered a week or so ago (picture in another post) and I LOVE IT!!! Sadly, it's not for me! LOL

I also got the pictures that I ordered from scrapbookpictures.com and I love them. They were a pain in the ass to upload and edit, but the quality is great!!!

Some scrapbook stuff that I ordered came today too!! I ordered some Leaving Prints stuff from Anna and it's awesome!!! :) Can't wait to use it.

My birthday is coming up too!! I am so excited. I will be 17. WOO HOO!

This is for Anna..

because she just started blogging!

I just ordered these too...

The solid silver pair is for a Christmas present and the other pair is my mama's birthday present. The silver pair is supposed to be like 3 inches long and the red pair is supposed to be like an inch and 3/4.

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I have been paying for all of the Christmas presents with my parent's CC (yes, they know), but I paid for the red earrings (mama's b-day present) with my money in PayPal so now I have to get into mama's email to delete to receipt for the payment before she finds it! LOL

Back to my Lifetime movie now! -Haley

So sad...

Over the summer I signed up to be a "Birthday Angel" for little kids with cancer. In most cases cancer is terminal so I wanted to do something to make some child happy. I was lucky enough to get a very sweet and kind family that had a little boy named Eric (9 years old), who had Stage 2 Alveolar Rhabodmoysarcoma. Cancer is very devastating to everyone, even if their lives have never been touched by it, like me. I wanted to make Eric happy. I wanted to make him smile. I noted all of his favorite cartoon characters and all of the things that he loved to do. I even noted everything that his 12 year old sister liked and what his parents liked as well. My mama and I went to Wal*Mart one night and bought loads of stuff to make this loving family happy and to try and help them cope with all that was going on at the time.

Last night, I found out that Eric died on September 10, 2005. He died 3 days before his 10th Birthday. I was so sad. The presents that I got him were the only ones that he got to open because he was determined to wait until his official Birthday. This little boy that I don't even know has made me so happy. I got to do something for him that I have never done for anyone else. I made him happy and I made him smile, just like I wanted to do. Eric had a wonderfully bright smile and as far as I can tell, let NOTHING get him down. I have been touched by this family and I hope I have touched their lives as well.

Here are some pictures of Eric as he is opening his huge box of goodies from me. I love the one of him and the teddy bear.

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2 more things I ordered for Xmas gifts!

I love them!! I want to keep the ring for me! Is that bad? LOL

Poor kitty!!!!! :(

As I was driving to school today I got caught by the red light and was just observing the busy traffic that occurs every morning. It was then that I saw a KITTY! I am talking this little bitty furball that could fit in the palm of your hand! :( The kitty was under a huge truck and the truck was proceeding to turn. I started screaming and crying, but the light was turning so the truck backed up. I couldn't stop at the time because I was in the middle of everyone and the cat was across the intersection! So I went to school and told Phillip that I had to go back and get a cat out of the middle of the road! I went back, hurriedly because I was about to be tardy, and was planning on getting the cat and taking it to my house so that my mama could take care of it, but little did I know when the man in the big truck backed up he got the poor little thing! :) I was tardy, but I didn't get my tardy slip because I slipped into class without the techer seeing me! HAHA It was worth it. Some people at school saw it too and said that an an SUV ran over it's leg before the man got it! :( I hope that kitty is okay!

BLAH BLAH BLAH

This morning I told my mama that I wanted to get the laser hair removal on my eyebrows and she said "But Haley, you are still growing!" Damn mama! I am tired of plucking and waxing! LOL Then, I hit my 3rd toe of the freakin' wall! AHH! It hurts so bad. I hope it's not broken. HAHA I did figure out what I was going to get all of my friends for Christmas. I am going to order them something off of

www.silverjewelryclub.com

They have some really pretty things and they are all so cheap!! I have been watching this site for a while now, but it has finally come in handy! :) I just ordered a necklace. I'm not sure who I will give it to yet though. I hope the quality is good! Anyone know?
Here is what I just ordered:

ETA: I ordered this too!

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I think it is really pretty. I hope the colors are that vibrant IRL.

I SO don't want to go back to school tomorrow!! Hopefully, the week will pass quickly. Next week we only have to go 2 full days and 1 half-day! YAY! We are out all day Thursday and Friday for fall break! :)

Last Tuesday my mama signed up to be an Arbonne consultant. I am so excited. She doesn't work so I think she will enjoy this. I love their facial cleaners and their eyeshadows! We haven't tried much yet, but we have TONS ordered. www.arbonne.com

I promised some pictures of tacky day, so here they are! Again, the date on my camera is wrong. I need to fix that. LOL You can see the cover of my "portfolio" (scrapbook) of all of my poems and stuff in picture #1.

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Here are more from Homecoming... We were being crazy in a raunchy gas station in picture #1! LOL

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Well, I think I have posted enough for today! LOL Now I am going to see if those boiled peanuts are ready! YUMMMMMM! :)

-Haley

Fabulous day!

I woke up at 11:00 and started watching Lifetime and continued to watch until 5:00. There were some great movies today, but they scared me shitless. LOL I don't dig the whole "someone is watching you" thing. LOL I was home alone at the time too. So anyways, at 5:00 I went to my boyfriend's house and we ate, played with the puppy some, and then watched 10 Things I Hate about You. I love that movie! :) We had a great time. We haven't laughed so much in a long time!! It's so hard to believe we will have been together 4 years on February 20! That's such a long time- longer than some stay married! HA! We have our ups and downs, but somehow we always manage to get through them. I am not real sure what that means, but I am following my heart and what I am doing now just feels "right". We are having fun and enjoying ourselves, which, to me, is what we should be doing. I do what makes me happy, nothing more, nothing less. :)

That's all for now. -Haley

The one pair of....

Lucky jeans that I do happen to like are $198!! WTF? The rest of them are $80 or $90 and then I'm like "OOOOOH!!" and then I see the price of the pair that I like!! WAAAAH! :( Never hurts to dream right? I don't mind paying this for a purse, but a freakin' pair of jeans? No thanks!

Aren't they GORGEOUS though??

Wow! I have been so busy.

I had a portfolio due today and we were supposed to have 2 weeks to work on it, but ended up having 1 week so I had to stay up until 1:15 last night and finish! UGH Not to mention the mid-terms yesterday and today! My depression and anxiety is getting better. I did, however, have a panic attack yesterday, but considering the stress with the portfolio and mid-terms that's no big surprise. Now I have a *3-day* weekend to look forward too! No homework, NOTHING! YAY! :) This week is also Homecoming week so we had "spirit week". Monday was PJ day, Tuesday was Retro day, Wednesday was Tacky day, Thursday was Camo day, and Friday was our school colors day! I have some pictures to post of tacky day so I will post them when I get a chance!

UGH! I have been doing homework all day!

Mama woke me up to go to church about 8:45 while she went to Sunday school. At about 9:30 daddy woke me up and told me that I needed to get up because I only had 15 minutes to take a shower and get dressed! UGH Gee thanks! So I didn't get up and I slept until 12:00. I got up and at a bowl of cereal and then started on homework. It took me over 3 hours to do the assignment because the teacher gave us so much. After that, I went to Sonic to get something to eat and then came back home to revise an essay. I need a break. Off to watch Lifetime! WOO HOO